So sorry for your situation ...it is one I spent the better part of my adult life dealing with as well. My Ahusband managed to maintain the lie of "I am not drinking" for many years, even when I noticed strange behavior, glazed eyes and the funny smell. He had never lied to me before so I was caught up in his irrational behavior too long... thinking he might actually telling me the truth.
In my case, it was only when I found the actual evidence that the deceit stopped and he admitted he had a problem and he sought treatment. With my husband, he had to be confronted with actual proof before the lying and cruel mind games stopped. For me, whether or not there was actual drinking made a world of difference as to how our life proceeded. Could he be trusted to work and make decisions rationally? Could I trust him to drive somewhere with the kids? Did I know whether our life was ready to go into an out of control tail spin or if in fact he was on the road to recovery and someone I could depend on? Our whole family's future depended on whether he was sneaking alcohol or if he was in fact truly sober. I never spent that much time looking for alcohol.. but once the truth came out, I knew how to proceed and set boundaries ... and I felt validated since he was always trying to convince me and both of our families that I was imagining everything... a cruel selfish mind game. The stress of never knowing whether you are dealing with someone committed to their marriage, family and sobriety ...or someone lying to hide an addiction with inevitable catastrophic consequences is a miserable way to live. Also having children makes it that much more important to know if he can trust him to be there to support them and help care for them... or even if you can trust him to even take your children places in the car. There are no easy answers ... but once I felt there were too many behaviors that were suspicious .. I just assumed he was drinking again, I let him know... and at that point I felt it was up to him to make the changes necessary.