Golfman

Way to go chero,

For those who don't know me I'm ed, and alcoholic. gotta be here every now and then to see what those idiots, drunks like i used to be, are conjuring up now. doesn't look like anything has changed. still the same sick bastards with no new thoughts, only tired old excuses and broken promises. Oh, evfery now and then they THINK they've come up with an original thought. "honey, i finally found a way that i can stay sober and still be an a55hole."

Confused, here's the deal. No celebration for 10 days...normal people do it all the time. what makes him so special. Oh, he's doing it for you? BS, he's doing it to prove he can do it. Well, doesn't matter whether he as 8 months or 8 years. Without dealing with the causes and conditions he just a dry drunk. I always say you take the drink away from the alcoholic and you're left with someone who's really pi55ed off. It's not about the drinking, it''s about the thinking!!!!! hell, it water could have done for me what alcohol did, I'd be a "waterholic". I like the effect produced by alcohol. I will go the ends of the earth to find it. It helps me forget my resonsibilities, my debts, my fears, my family obligations, virtually everything that a responsible person should be taking care of.

The alcoholic has no mental defense against the first drink. Sooner or later he/she will drink again if all is not right on the inside. it's as sure as the wrinkles on my butt.

would I leave? knowing what I know now about what I did to my family, damn right i'd leave. I would not torture myself with the games, the impassioned pleas, the heartache, the frustration. I would have left my butt long before I got sober. I'm just one of the very lucky ones whose wife didn't have the degree she needed to get a good job. But, she was going to school and she would have been gone in about six months. fortunately, God decided to take mercy on me and my family. He intervened in our lives and brought us out of the fire. He rose me up from the muck and placed my feet on solid ground.

I love you friends and families. you are stronger and braver than any of my alcoholic compatriates, including me. Your patience is is miracle, your love is unconditional, and your faith is God-like. But that is your downfall as well. Even in the face of complete disaster you will turn cheek after cheek, time after time, and be beaten to a pulp by this deadly disease who's desire it is to maim, kill, and destroy.

There is one who has all power...that one is God. I know for a fact that He does not want His children tortured. But He gave them a brain to think on their own. He intends you to use it. Separate it from the heart. Ask yourselves what advice you would give a dear friend after being emotionally raped. I know what the advice would be...so do you. All you have to do is take your own advice and give yourselves a chance. If you do that, God will do the rest.

Loving you with sobriety,
steady eddie