Mike had a wonderful thread on the difference between forgiveness and absolution. I'll see if I can find it as it sounds like you're getting the two confused.
edit: found it here (remove spaces to 'unbreak' the link)
http://w ww.soberrecovery.com/forums/adult-children-addicted-alcoholic-parents/113 599-forgiving-my-parents.html
It's very well written and I think will help you a lot.