cant stop crying today
Hi everyone! I have a little more than 2 months clean and I have been doing fairly well without to many bouts of depression, but today I just cant get a grip. I have court again tomarrow and I am worried. I have already acceptred the fact that I have to face the consequences of my actions so I dont think it is that. I dont know what it is. It might be because a user friend of mine stopped over yesterday and we spoke for a little while and then she left, but that brief conversation kicked in thoughts of using. I think the realization of how vulnerable I am to relapsing is what is bothering me. I am also missing my non user friends that still want nothing to do with me. My best, best friend in the world has started to come around again after swearing she would never speak to me again, but other than her I have no contact with anyone else. I am also depressed because I have a guy I have been friends with for over 15 years now and I found out he has been using and not telling me which means I have to stay away. I have to cut him off and it is really bothering me. I have been talking to him on the phone and he keeps asking me to come visit and I want to, but I know it is the wrong thing to do. I am so torn over this and I have an overwhelming feeling of sadness. If anyone has anything uplifting to say or any advice I could really use it.
Beth