sorry cinder but you are not alone, you already know that i've been married off and on for 20yrs. its probably the only reason that i was able to say we had our 21 yr anniversary. try not to feel bad, when you are ready you'll know what you need to do. i think that you've done a lot by changing the locks and getting his things out of your house. you've got your car back and is now ready to stick to your boundaries.
i think that for now, you are doing what you can. if you decide that you need to go through with trying to get a restraining order, maybe you can use the fact that he tried to hurt you the last time with the choking thing, and if you decide to not go through with it, you already have your locks changed so he can get in unless you allow it and if he comes anyway and you don't want him there, you can always call the police before he gets in the house and tell them that you are afraid of him, if thats what you want to do.
i am a little concerned about the other house though, if he gets caught using there, won't that cause you to lose the house? other than all of that, i think that you are doing ok, you're doing what you got to do for now. i've filed for a lot of restraining orders myself, and still took him back. i think you'll know when you are ready to stop the madness and i don't think that you have anything to feel bad about as far as taking him back. you have a lot of hope for him, only you know how you really feel about all of this. you have to do what makes you feel better. its all about you. keeping you and yours in my prayers.