I'm normally not very demonstrative, but thank you, really, each and every one of you.
man this is so awesome to wake up and read this stuff ! Not to mention it's day 4, a brilliantly blue sky autumn day outside, and I'm finally feeling 'normal' again.
I am scared about the buddy thing though - (not sure if this should be in the 'men' section)
in a day or so, my usual drinking buddy will be back in town...thankfully my disability doesn't affect my hands, and I'm a musician....so me and this guy play music together, and we usually hang out, mostly cos we both tend to be at home during the day, and we jam....
the problem is, after a drink or six, he's pretty - well I don't want to use the word manipulative, but it fits....even when I've told him I'm not drinking, he'll wait for that glimpse of longing or doubt or weakness or whatever he sees, and then he'll offer me whatever he's drinking, or even beers from the fridge that he's bought for me, and he'll keep asking me if I want one with each new drink he has...
Now I know that no-one can really force me to drink, but the fact remains I've failed in my sobriety more times with him than I've held it.
I've read a lot of the posts today, and you're right - I should cut him out my life, but he's been part of 'The Band' for nearly 15 years now and, right or wrong, the band is important to me (the other guys, even the rock n roll party animals, are no problem).
I've tried to approach him about this loads of times (and even got the other guys to, once or twice) but while he's never physical with me, he gets aggressive and intimidating when he's drunk, which kinds scares me to be honest, and he completely rejects any hint that he's trying to get me to do anything.
any tips on approaching this guy from anyone who's had this kind of thing ?
sorry - heh gotta cut out these long posts
Thanks again to everyone - makes me think/hope I might just be a regular, even if I do stumble again sometime
have a great day all !
peace
D