SaTiT

My mother had to let me go

It took everything out of her and broke her heart I'm sure
of it. The woman begged me to stop.
She literaully got on her knees and beg me.
This is after she bail me out of jail a couple if times
in less than 1 month. She went through my house
threw all the drugs out, pay my rent and bills.
I had almost $3000 for drugs, but told her i was broke.
I didn't stop. I had to hit my bottom.
I'm glad my mother didn't have to see me in the space.
It was ugly.

she didn't let me back in her house easily either, just
becuase i was clean and sober. Even when I was sleeping
in my car out in the street. I have a habit of sleeping in
my car when I hit a bottom, but thats another story.

I'm also the boomerange kid. But I stay away longer and
longer each time as i grew up.

I would also add. Please don't make any damning remarks
to your duaghter. I had very low self esteem and was
extreemly sensitive. Most of the time my mother would
just hug me and not say anything. I pretty much knew
want I needed to do already after I hitted my bottom.
It took time for me to grew up in so many ways aside
from just getting a job. i had already had great paying jobs.
On an emotional level when I first got clean and sober
I felt if i was a 13 year old kid in a body of a 22 year old.
And i was still childish in so, so many ways.
Getting clean and sober was just the beginging of my recovery.