I wish I knew why I stay.
I've asked myself that question a million times, lately. Sometimes I wish he'd just leave me so it would be done. I'm obviously not strong enough to go and barely strong enough to stay.
I wish he'd quit giving me moments of hope.
But do you know, for the first time in forever I did have some fun. I mean, genuine fun. I knew he'd do it but I had a good time anyway.
I can see little changes in me...like wanting to be away from home. That is so unlike me. But, it gives me peace and clarity and just a glimmer of who I'm supposed to be...or once was...?!?