These boards are just great and I am so thankful to have them. You all seem to reveal a hidden part of my life.
I am also now learning to do things for myself, to start living my own life. It seems as though all my life I've lived through others, according to other people's plans. I never dared to OWN my life.
So now I feel a bit scared but at the same time so empowered to be making my own choices.
Yesterday it was a great day for me as I was with my Al-Anon friends from 5.30 pm on. I went to a meeting and we discussed the slogan 'Listen and Learn' and I learned so much.
The funny thing is that I got home really late and then my ex-boyfriend/A called me. It seemed like the slogan we shared about stuck in my mind and I just listened and didn't say much. I felt like I've already used all the words and really have nothing left to say. It was such a strange feeling. I felt powerless and liberated at the same time. I realised I've said so many words in the past and it never really did anything for me except drain me emotionally.
I feel now it's much better for me if I don't try to persuade people to view things from my point of view, I can just live my own life and let them live their own. It' much more relaxing for me if I succeed in doing this.
I am so greatful for Al-Anon and the friends I've met at meetings and here at this board . It's given me a life to live. I have never had so much friends as I have now. I feel supported and loved and understood, and therefore it's much easier for me to take a risk and try to be independent.
So thank you all and have a great day.
Natasha