Wow! Everyone who posted on this page must be living inside my body, in my house!
) I am so glad to see I am not the only one who goes through this. When I plan things with the kids and don't invite him, he is mad. When I sit home and do nothing and therefore feel resentful that he can just come and go as he pleases then he is mad. He is mad when I plan something and don't talk to him first, like oh right, maybe he is going to do something with the kids and myself when there is a drink on every corner and someone always willing to share with the life of the party. Please. But God Forbid I make my own plans. He also "asks" me if I would like to go with him to his events and parties and bars, but he knows well that I will not go. It would be one thing if I had no other responsibilities in my life and I could stay out until 3 in the a.m. on a school night. I would not do that to my kids without a very good reason and he knows that. So when he invites me, I always know it is with the knowledge that I won't go. I also feel like "spare time". He will do something with me if there is absolutely nothing else going on, but he knows when he does something with me, alcohol isn't going to be involved. I realize a lot of his behavior comes from his upbringing, not that this is a good excuse, but he has 2 very dysfunctional parents and he knows nothing different. His mom treated him the same way and I know it hurt, what I don't understand is why if it hurt so much, he wants to pass on that legacy to his children. Ah well, so it seems are the days of our lives.....Hang in there LongStrangeTrip. And everyone else, please bear with me, I am new to this, and I feel like a dam has burst. I just want to post and post and post. I feel like screaming from the trees "I AM NOT ALONE!!" It feels great to know there are others out there who know what I am talking about and why I am talking about it. So I hope I don't drive everyone nuts for the next few weeks posting like mad. This just makes me feel good to get it out. Thanks all!!