I won't smack you, but if you like I'll warm up the steel toed bunny slippers and give you a nudge back to work and away from your stinking thinking.
Any time we let those thoughts occupy our minds we are displacing all the good thoughts we could be thinking instead, like our own recovery.
He's clean or he's using, no matter where your thought take you. Maybe for today just show up and let life happen....and think good thoughts even if it kills you.
Hugs