Wow, I wish I had words to comfort or assist you in this , I had to reach out to the services where I live to make ends meet as well, and in that regard you should'nt feel ashamed . Sometimes I have felt embarrassed to say I need help, primarily because I thought I had a some kind of handle on what happened in my life , and I felt low because I knew that I didn't and that I really needed help . My addictions were and still are the lowest point of my life and I find it hard to accept that anything that happens after I decided to stay clean is worse than the pain ,rejection ,loneliness,and despair that I felt while using ... STAY UP !!! and when you go tommorow /today ask about job training , Housing Assistance and whatever else you can think of . I agree with WantsOut milk the State for whatever you can get ,Lord knows we all have paid enough in . Hope and Love JEI2950