I don't know if this helps or applies in your situation, but I will give it a go. My addict is my 20 yo son. Since he was ~13, he has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, migraines, epilepsy, anxiety disorder, ulcers, you name it. I spent years and maor $$'s going to all sorts of doctors, paying for all sorts of meds, enabling him, pampering him, making excuses to the family and the world and him why he was so different and just needed extra help.
After he finally went inpatient and quit negotiating the terms of his recovery and just bit the bullet, gave up his will and worked the program, a quite different and capable young man emerged. I was shocked, and initially felt quite displaced. His BS and rationalizations were gone. He was completely honest with himself and me and suddenly seemed capable of handling his life. After I got over being hurt about not having that codie role in his life, I started to feel a little relieved. And then I realized that he could hande it all! I didn't have to worry about his crud anymore.
Except, he is a baby in recovery (as am I) and while he can work a full time job (who knew?), and manage a budget, he still needs assistance from me. He needs me to support him in his recovery, to do the little or inconvenient things that show I understand how important his meetings, his step work, and other such activities are. I am working on finding the balance and dealing with the suppressed anger I now allow myself to feel about the years he took advantage of my overly generous and enabling nature.
It's a wobbly walk, but we can do it and find the ways that help in healthy ways.
Good luck to you!