Live - it is hard sometimes.
I am finally over the idea of "us". To tell you the truth - the way he's conducted himself since the actual "breakup" has made me so unattracted to him that I don't have any desire to think of it anyway. It is amazing the perspective that you can get if you will actually allow yourself the space to get it. I thought I would be so lonely - so crushed - so lost. It just hasn't been the case - because I was already all of these things even when he was with me. For me, it all came down to realizing that there was a divide as wide as the Grand Canyon between what I wanted him and us to be and what he really was, and of course what we really were. It was about as ridiculous as me actually getting worked up, over and over, every day, about the fact that I'm not a famous movie star.
Anyway, it is just hard to tell someone who is in some genuine, serious pain that you don't want to see him again. It is like the nail in the coffin for him right now.
By the way - just to make it clear - I'm not scared of this man at all. He is and always has been a very gentle person, and he's just very "sad", not angry with me. I would never get a restraining order against him. I haven't even been all that stern with him specifically because he is so gentle. But he wouldn't ever hurt me. He just keeps coming up with these reasons that he needs to see me... to talk to me... and I have to just put my foot down. There aren't any "real" ones left anymore.