Livelife-
I could have written your post.
I am EXACTLY where you are at, at the moment with my abf.
I, too, continue to hold on to our connection and also tell him that I will stand by him and cannot understand why he still wants to PUSH me away. I still have my dreams about our future together and have a difficult time understanding that this man may not care about me/love me. It is so hard to believe that someone you ARE so passionately in love with can be so consumed by an addiction.