Heather,
I'm so sorry.
This is what it feels like, it's what we've all been through here. The initial feelings are just like being ripped apart.
The only way out of the pain is THROUGH. You can't change him, you can't go back to those cinderella days, you can't fix this.
All you can do is get some support (a counselor or therapist is a great idea) and work your way through this. The pain will end if you keep going through...like having surgery to correct a painful thing with your body. But if you stay where you are, the pain will just keep coming and coming.
Can you occupy your mind? Can you keep busy and keep focused on things that give you pleasure? (if we all treated OURSELVES like queens & kings, we wouldn't mourn that others aren't there doing it for us) Nar-anon or Al-anon meetings were really helpful to me too.
Sending you hugs. I know I can't say anything that will convince you it gets easier, but it really really does if you just bust out the other side.
Love,
GL