The man who used to be my best friend and love of my life just called me from a payphone furious with me for shutting off his phone. He told me just how horrible I am for kicking him while he is down. In not so nice words. Of course, this is all my fault and I am a terrible person for doing this to him.
I'm trying not to let it get to me emotionally. This morning I woke up and had a great time doing normal things like working out and playing with my children. It's better for me that his phone doesn't work because I can overcome the temptation to call him and bring him back home. I actually had a few minutes where I didn't even think about him.
Maybe this is the first step to recovery?????
You are right. This is another person talking to me now. I am finally able to see "the addict" who has taken over his mind and body. I am starting to see the difference between the man I was passionately in love with (and still am..... God help me) and the sick dangerous addict he is right now.
Its a difficult transition to now be scared of the man who I trusted so completely and who would have protected me and my children and given his life for us. I feel him in my heart, but now even his voice sounds different on the phone and he has lost so much weight that he looks really angry and sick.
Still holding on .... trying to "livelife" on day 2