Thanks dollydo.
My plan right now is to keep the doors locked and the children inside unless we leave to run errands.
He has been violent with others in the past. He is a trained fighter and used to compete. He enjoys the fight and the rush. He has no history of violence with women and his confidence and ability to protect me had always made me feel safe.
Now he is a desperate, sick man and my actions are helping push him there. He has been verbally threatening. I told him not to threaten me and he said he wasn't ... he was "promising." Nothing specific just telling me that I am making a big mistake putting him out and that I will never forget his name.
We've always been very close. A life line to each other. I hope that the underlying connection we have will get us through this safely. He could have thrown my computer in the street, but he threw it in the grass. On some basic level, I feel like he won't hurt me or the children physically.
But that doesn't mean I'm not trying to be ready. There is no way to know for sure what he will do. Usually I give in and take him back. He's only two miles away and he's angry and sick.
Hanging on......