Welcome laidierainbow... one of the first things I learned in Alanon are the 3Cs...
I can't CAUSE addiction.
I can't CONTROL addiction.
I can't CURE addiction.
These are the absolute truth. There is more I have learned at Alanon ...most of it about me... why I pick alcoholics, why I interact with folks the way I do. Lots of interesting stuff. You might want to check out some meetings? Just a suggestion.
I wish you well... ((hugs))