welcome livelife, glad to meet you. the addict in my life is my husband or 21 yrs,and i've been dealing with his addiction for as long. this is not an easy road, and it gets so much worse. addiction is a progressive desease and it may take for your addict to hit rock bottom before he realizes that his life is out of control and that he needs help. there is nothing that you can do to help him, this is a choice that he has to make for himself.
i think that you are doing a good thing by doing what you have to do to take care of you and your kids. maybe you can find a few alanon or naranon meetings to go to, they help a lot. read the stickies at the top of the forum page, others stories, and post all you want here.
when i first came here i was almost insane, feeling the way that you are now, your life will get better as you continue to focus on you and your kids.
addicts are very resourceful, when he's ready, he will find a way to contact you, i the meantime, maybe you can do all you can to prepare yourself. life with him will only get worse, do what you can to keep your mind occupied, maybe start a project or something and turn him over to god and believe that he will handle this situation for you and your bf.
i think that you are doing very well, that it is good that he is able to suffer the consequences of his own actions. maybe life will become so bad for him that he'll want to save himself. i'm praying for you and yours.