Wheretobegin, I am so sorry about all that you are going through. Everything you discribe, I have felt. I to have a son with an addiction. He has been in jail and prison. He got out in Jan. and has relapsed twice. I worry about the same things you are. Sometimes things get so bad I feel I can't even breathe.
I have two books that I read, One is a devotional called Streams in the Desert. The other that has helped me and given me so much comfort is called When Mothers Pray by Cheri Fuller. They are so comforting! There was a story in the streams book that told about writing a letter and then not mailing it. Saying if you didn't let go of the letter and trust it to the postal service the mail it wouldn't get anywhere. It the same with genuine faith, we have to hand the circumstances or our child over to God or your HP allowing Him to do his work. I picture myself handing my son to God and letting go of him like mailing the letter. I find myself trying to pick the letter (MY son)up again and again. Then I talk to myself and I try very hard to hand it over to God again and again. I do this hundreds of times a day. I love the other book too. There are so many things she writes about in the book that give me peace, which is almost impossible for me. It is all about praying for our children. I carry those books with me everywhere, and when I need help I read them!
I am very good at worring. I am not good at letting go either. I feel crazy most of the time too. I am trying to stop. It has effected my health. We need to keep trying to trust our sons to someone way more powerful than us! I know this is so hard to do! I hope someday I will become as strong as some of the people here. I will be praying for you and your son! Take care!