You feel you betrayed him? This desease is not about HIM but about YOU. I always used to feel I betrayed my A by relaying something personal, but there is nothing personal about being an A. I don't recall him being so careful to cover his personal business when he was falling down drunk or calling me from jail. Don't be so hard on yourself, don't live in the past or the future, live in the here and now in order to survive.
