sorry you are going though all of this, maybe i can understand what your wife is feeling cause i have to same issue with porn, but i don't know. my rah had the same desire about porn while using and i hated it. it made me feel so much less attractive for some reason, it made me feel as if i wasn't enough of a woman, for some reason. it felt like cheating, for some reason. to me it was ole addict behavior and a sign of a relapse waiting to happen, but that was just for me. it had a lot to do with me distancing myself for my rah that has lasted even though he's clean and working somewhat of a program, i think.
first, i suggest that you check your motives for doing this knowing that it has caused your wife to not trust you. you are right, i think that you do have a right to look at what you want, but are you concerned about how it is affecting your wife? i think that since you've explained things to her, your actions will speak out to her in time. porn maybe a trigger for her and she may not be sure that this is not a trigger for you, are you? keeping you in my prayers.
ps. congratulations on your sobriety, keep going and going and going.
Last edited by teke; 03-27-2007 at 05:09 AM.