My suggestion would be to just try a meeting. Most of us who go for the first time are still resentful and scared and totally lost. I don't think there is any doubt that you do need it. There are many people there who do not have active drinkers in theirs lives. But it doesn't mean that just because they aren't still drinking, that you aren't still hurting. (Hope that makes sense!) I wondered if I belonged in Al-Anon because my brother is the alcoholic/addict in my life. I felt as if I wasnt' going through as much as the ones with children or spouses who were alcoholics or addicts. I felt really petty and pitiful. But then I went, and found out that my pain is just as important and anyone elses. They welcomed me with open arms and understanding. I still haven't really talked very much at all. And they don't expect me to. There is no pressure. Just being there where I know everyone understands and is not going to judge me for how I feel is a comfort. Anyway, I hope that you do find some peace soon. Maybe it will help you more than you ever dreamed possible. I am still new to Al-Anon, but it has helped my somehow!!