Dont beat yourself up about it. As long as you've learned something from it, thats okay. We all stumble sometimes, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Just get up and start again. Go to a meeting and share, it will help so much. I have faith in you, and so does God, we just have to be humble enough to ask for help. Thanks for sharing...'we can only keep what we have by giving it away'....with sober love..