Dear Susankay: I am where you are, but have been dealing with it for about 7-8 years now with my AS. I can tell you from experience that it takes some time before you reach the place where you realize you have to detach... for them...for you. Detachment is as much an act of love as trying to help, except it helps to bring the substance abuser to an end with him/herself. As long as you "are there for them" they will use and abuse you to your last dime, last minute of time and your mind will be in distress about them 24/7. When you've had enough, start thinking about yourself and let God take care of your daughter. He is with her 24/7 and knows her every thought and deed and without your help can bring her to an end to herself real quick -- you just need to get out of the way and let that happen. Believe me, I know the pain you are experiencing - my AS has lost his car and will lose his apartment next month. God has been patient with him for 8 years now. He is at a crossroad and I don't want to do anything that will interfere with putting him in that position. Trust me.. you are doing the right thing - for youself - for her. Be strong and care enough to let go.