Welcome observer,
The past is the past,... today is what counts from now on. Start with a clean slate and go for it. You are allready on the right path because you came here for help. We've got your back and will try to help you as good as possible.
Another good step "in real life" would be going to an AA meeting. We've all been were you've been. Don't worry! You CAN do it. All it takes is really wanting to quit drinking.
Keep checking this place out! It will change your life!
Big hug,
Philip