flutter, you are not the only one by far. My mother is an addict and she is dying of emphysema. You mentioned stealing your moms pills, oh do I remember seeing my mother and getting plastered on my pills when I got home. She was just too stressful. I finally had to make the best decision for me, and that was my "mean" mother was not changing and I would not get enough 'good' memories to justify the bad in this part of her life. I changed my phone number (she manipulates me on the phone as well), wrote her a nice letter letting her know I'd love to stay in contact via post (and what do you know, she still hasn't written to the daughter she supposdily just loves) and I let things be.
I don't know if this made any sense to you... I don't know if it makes sense to me... all I know is I am in a lot of pain... I am angry, confused, scared and feel very hopeless... and I am hoping to find a way to deal with my life in a healthy manner... I need help, but don;t know where to go, what to do, or even if there is an answer to my problems... I do love my mom... but the woman I have been talking about is not my mother... she's not the one I miss terribly... the one I long to talk to... to hug... the truth is my mother died the minute she picied up that bottle... and I haven;t seen her since... now I just have this bald drunk lady wearing my mothers skin and clothes... and I hate her...
Feel free to private message me anytime. It sounds like we are in very similar places.