My weekend
Hello everyone.
I want to start out by saying thank you again to everyone for reading and posting. This sight is helping me out more than I ever would have guessed. I am someone who NEVER posts on sights...I am the forever lurker...until now and until this sight. I also was not one that spoke easily at meetings, although when I got sober the first time I regularly attended meetings for 2-3 years. I shook and stuttered when I spoke...it was always very difficult.
Anyway, I want to say that although I had good intentions, I did not attend a meeting this weekend. My significant other was home but was still emmersed in work...and having a serious talk with him just was not happening. I have relayed a little of my story in other posts. I went to rehab about 8 years ago and remained sober 7.5 years. The last 4 were mainly by myself...and I just did not drink. My significant other(he) drank quite a bit the whole time...and I...just did not. And then I did.
The hard part is, when I did drink 8 years ago, he did not know me. I told him a little of the near death hangovers and the blackouts, but he never witnessed it. And when I started drinking again, it never happened. (well, it would have, believe me). I always had it" under control" especially in his eyes. He still drank more than me. So now that I am stopped again....he just does not get the full picture.
Why do I need to have him understand? I am taking care of our children alone Monday-Friday, and when he is here I DO need to go to meetings. I suffer from anxiety issues...and he just feels like my drinking mentality is an overreaction or something.
I am not a victim here. I am a strong person but someone who loves her children more than anything.
I am using this sight so much right now.
I am sorry for rambling here.
My not going to meetings is not a reflection on how much I want to be sober.
Sue