Can anyone relate?
I was just wondering if anybody else has ever had the same problem as me. My A and I have been together for about 11 years and he has been doing really great staying sober for 1 year now. But our marriage is awful. He has recently decided that he is no longer in love with me and no longer wants to pursue this relationship. He says that I am a negative influence in his life and am a danger to his sobriety.
I have had my walls up since he has decided to work his program until about 4 months ago I started to let them down and begin to trust him. Only to find out recently that he has been unhappy with me for the last 8 months. I feel very angry because we can't communicate with each other. I admit that I haven't been working my program as I should, but it hasn't been until lately that I realize that it is a Family Disease. I never really thought that anything was wrong with me. I just cared (so I thought).
It is frusterating to me because I have stood by his side for many years that were heartbreaking to me, and the first second he finds that he is unhappy he is done.
I don't know I just need to vent. Only god knows what will come to pass. And I know that I am right where I need to be. I guess I'm just looking for someone who has had a successful marriage after sobriety. Ours is getting worse when you think it would get better. It is very frustrating.
I've always wanted our marriage to last, but I never have felt like he was committed to me for life. I feel like a wife of convience. Anytime he is in the pit and has nothing....that's when he wants me, but when he begins to rebuild his life and starts to have success....he no longer wants me. This has been the pattern for many years.