(((Jewelz)))
I so understand where you are at. It took me a couple of times of me having him leave before I was finally able to REALLY have him leave!!! It's almost like I had to have a couple of practice sessions.
Fortunately for me I was and am still in the process of reading a book called "The Manipualtive Child" by E.W. Swihart Jr., M.D. & Patrick Cotter, Ph.D. when he came crying to my window.
It was so weird because as he was crying and threatening suicide it was just like they had described in the book when a child is throwing a tantrum. Because of my sponsor, Naranon, SR, and this book I was able to say No.
Not because I didn't love him, but because I knew without a doubt, that I was hurting him by giving in to his demands and by me giving in to my fears of not having him in my life anymore. This book was and is so helpful in my understanding of what I had been doing, what his parents had been doing that had contributed to this selfish, self-centered person that I had become involved with.
Fortunately, I also saw myself and my parents. I really have some amends I need to make to my parents. I now understand how my behavior controled them. I feel bad. They were and are so loving.
Anyway, after he left I did not have any contact with him. I did not answer the phone, I did not answer the door. I finally spoke to him after HE CONTACTED ME and left me a message with a plan of action for his life and his recovery. Yesterday he had 21 days clean AND sober.
I know it's hard Jewelz, especially with a child between you, but the time is perfect. His job doesn't want him, his parents don't want him, the drug dealers don't want him...really, it's perfect.
I am not trying to tell you what to do Jewelz, I am okay with whatever you do, I am just trying to tell you it's gonna be okay if he hits bottom.
Hugs,
Lithloren