(((Guy))) Please know she and you and the kids are in my prayers.
Why not see her - are you strong enough to maintain your boundaries?
As far as "is it appropriate?" - kindness is always appropriate, I think. For me, I can love the addicts and alcholics, I just cannot predict the outcomes of their (or my) behavior. Keeping in mind "outcomes" as what I need to watch out for helps me keep the line where boundaries begin.
What do they tell us?
She is not a bad woman getting good, but a sick woman getting well?
Something like that.
I don't believe in coincidence, I pray her time can be soon. (((hugs)))