First off, Bravo, booklover for recognizing your mistakes in all this. That takes a strong person to do. I personally have not dealt with your situation accept on the one part about the affair. I came very close to cheating on my AGF during one of her disappearing acts. . .I mean very close. I felt the same way you did about it in that I didn't see how it could be cheating when my AGF wasn't there for me physically, emotionally, etc.
But I suppose in situations like that you have to put yourself above deceit even if you feel it's somehow justified. Wrong is wrong and I commend you for revealing the truth and ending the affair. I'm not sure if your marriage can withstand so much damage either. Trust and respect set the foundation for love and once those are gone then often the love goes too. Not entirely but substantially nonetheless. All I can say is listen to your heart. It WILL tell you what to do.
As for your husband's new found spirituality and sounding pompous, I think he's just rejoicing in his own spiritual rebirth and recovery. He probably doesn't even realize how he's coming off. Give it time and I'm sure he'll settle down. Hugs and kisses
