Hi Kitkat.
The number one way that people quit drinking is to just quit drinking. Not everybody responds well to AA. Not everybody who drinks to excess needs AA. Try with all your might to let go of the notion that you can know how he should recover. You can't. I have a feeling that's a lot of your frustration at the moment. You're afraid if he's not doing it "the right way" it won't work. He could relapse. That's realism. But he could relapse if he was going to AA and working the steps. Happens all the time.
We also can't get inside their heads and know if they're doing it for "the right reason". People quit drinking when they decide they've lost enough and don't want to lose the next thing. Maybe for him, that's your marriage. You can't know.
Even if you're only doing it in your head, you're trying to manage his recovery. That can only make your miserable. Hugs are nice. Especially when they come from someone who doesn't stink of beer or liquor.
Hugs,
Smoke