I was surprised, but not surprised, to hear so many women at the shelter I stayed at talk about how they were abused as children and teens. We grow up with this weird attraction to our "missing piece"; that person who will abuse us...I remember the day I recognized it in myself.
I realized that the reason I was always so strongly attracted to men who had a very obvious flaw (and was suspicious of someone who seemed "too nice"), was because I didn't think I was good enough to attract someone good, decent, kind, and intelligent. I was flawed, so I deserved someone equally (or so I thought) flawed.
It usually starts young, which is what angers me about that woman just cavalierly saying "Oh, she knows all about it." Dang, woman, if you can't "wake up" for yourself, think about what kind of life your are preparing for your children.
My children have saved my life more than once. They deserve a chance at happiness; the thought of watching them when I'm 40 or 50 get married to or put up with a relationship which hurts them...that's what motivated me more than trying to protect myself.