I just wanted to add that sometimes we can only make the best decision that we can at the time. We do that by following our gut, basing it on our knowledge due to personal experiences and remembering that our motivation is honorable.
In these cases I don't think manipulation really has anything to do with it. I hope I'm being supportive here and don't sound 'preachy'. I know I sometimes tend do that (but I'm working on it)! :-)