My step father was an alcoholic...my mom married him when I was 7 and the split up when I was 14. At one point she tried Alanon ---I think I was 12 and my sister 11, I was terrified of it. I don't know if it was because I never put the drinking together with all of their fighting (much done behind closed doors w/bruises to her---but we kids have ears.) I didn't have anything to say. But he wasn't gone a lot unless he was at work and he didn't just pass out like my dad at 7pm so I guess that though I was little Ms. Responsible Perfectionist, I didn't have a clue. My A likes to disappear ---runs to get a newspaper and doesn't come back for 2 hours. The kids ask where he is ---I used to cover, now I don't. I don't know. I don't want them to have a bad opinion of him but nor do I want to lead him to believe that they are all toddlers w/no questions either. When they ask why he isn't back yet, I tell them that they need to ask him that and they do and then he gets to be the one making lame sounding excuses not me. At some point they will ask and I will tell them the truth. The 12 yr old came out of the garage and said it smelled like marijuana in there. My jaw dropped. How would you know either way? Oh yea from your dad's friend who smokes all the time that you are now not allowed to go to...oops Time is getting short. He gave himself his own answer---he thought it was the gas blower that his s-dad was running. Wheew.