sdp,
I have two boys one 11 and the other 5. Only thing that I can tell you is that we (thekids & me) went to a counselor and it helped to anwser both of their questions with age approriate martial about alcoholism. It helped us alot and my older son understands alot more now. It helped him get over some of the anger that he had for his step-dad and me. He sometimes still blames me for the things that his step-dad does or for allowing it to happen but after sometime he will talk about it. I am to stuggleing with how to explain this to my kids but the counselor really did help. Maybe try your kids school about anything that might be age appropriate sometimes the health teacher have some info.
Colleen