Hang in there INTHISFORME. Its probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with in your life but if you work on YOU it will get better and you will learn ALOT from it! I know that I personally have gotten more help from this message forum than any other outlet...including Alanon. I love reading others' stories (makes me feel like I'm less of a crazy person! LOL) and getting advice from the "been there done that crowd". Everybody here has simliar stories. We understand ALL TOO WELL what you are going through. We are all also in different stages of recovery. We've caved in. We've been strong. We've left. We've taken them back. The point is we are all HERE because we realized WE need help! Our A's may never stop drinking. They may die or go insane from their disease. But if WE don't seek help for US they will take us with them!! And trust me: this group will make you feel better because they have patience and understanding like no other!! (nothing like a bunch of codies to help you get through your problems!!
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Sometimes when newbies come here (myself included) we have a good idea of what we NEED to do to help ourselves (its pretty much common sense). Unfortunately its not always easy to do what needs to be done. Like someone said "the road to recovery is simple--not easy". Meaning its a simple idea that we need to put ourselves first and let go of their problems...but its easier said than done!
With time and patience with yourself you will get there. There will most likely be some bumps in the road but eventually with work you
will get there!