Well your story sounds like mine regarding the thoughts and feelings.
It was funny when I stepped back to see what my life was, what I liked to do, I found nothing.
She was EVERYTHING to me.
So yes, I was there. I got evolved in Alanon. I went to all the functions, meetings, get togethers.
I became a literature chairman at one meeting and got on committees for other events.
I used the phone lists I got from my meeting to call people, and bout I did.
I worked the steps with my sponsor.
And slowly things changed. I saw myself because I was working on myself and with others.
It does happen, it will happen.
Just hang in there.