You are at vulnerable age, and you may be depressed. Have you seen your doc and told him/her you are depressed? It might be a good idea. You have so much to live for and you are brave and intelligent to be here seeking answers.
The peope here understand when others do not. We are all here for you. Keep posting us and telling us your story. We want to hear more.
The people here are mostly addicts. That is not a bad or naughty thing. We are not weak or pathetic. When we first come here we thought we were weak and bad but with support, love and friendship, we start to understand that we have a physical difference that makes us want to drink and drink while others have an "off switch".
Stick with us Sweet. It can be a great life without drinking alcohol. Who said it had to be part of everyone's life anyway?