Thanks guys. Even just getting a response is good.
The thing is...over the past few months (could be longer) SOMETHING has clicked. It hasn't stopped me drinking but it has made me realise that it's getting a bit serious.
I can't explain it but whenever I think of drink now...I KNOW it's wrong. I still talk myself into drinking but deep down I know it's wrong whereas before when I drank I didn't give it a second though.
Now..that is either awareness of my problem or me kidding myself that I THINK I know I have a problem just so I can talk myself into drinking more.
I suppose it all boils down to...do I WANT to stop? Well everytime I ask myself that I just remind myself of how f*cking alone and sad I felt a few months ago when I did what I did and the answer is Yes. I DO want to stop. I never ever want to be in that situation again but more than that I'm so tired of drinking.
The CHALLENGE is doing what I have to do. Of couse...I'm drinking tonight (It's 3:30am here).
Thanks.