Originally Posted by
I_am_tj 
I went to my 8:00 meeting tonight and I got my sponser!!! YAY! Guess who it is? My next door friend!!
She was at the meeting tonight, I was so thrilled!!
We are going to go to the womans meeting in another town tomorrow night. I'm picking her up at 5. Then to grab dinner after.
I came home and told my husband about everything, her being my sponser and that I'm going to the meeting tomorrow night. I seen disappointment in his eyes big time. Sooooo, I'm going to be looking for afternoon or morning meetings I guess. I'm not a morning person, never have been, but I suppose I can learn. He wants me to get well, but he also wants to spend time with me. I guess I've been so wrapped up in getting sober that I haven't thought about his feelings much. He didnt come out and SAY that, but I can read him like a book! I love my Wednesday night meeting (tonights) so I'm going to that 1 every week. I can skip Monday nights and find a different one during the day in another city.
Here's the thing too. I know I can't go to 90 in 90, that would be way to much driving and I would be gone a lot. I want to be here to take care of my home and cook nice meals for him. Just keep up on stuff here, ya know? I think if I go to 3 a week for now, that might be good? I need some input guys!! Carol? Ed? Chris? Tom?.......anyone......you think 3 is enough? And start working the 12 with my sponser?
TJ,
Now that you have a sponsor, talk this over with her. I do agree with what's been said. Each of us has to decide for ourselves how many meetings is enough. I did hear something a long time ago which made sense though, "I would like to go to ?# of meetings per week. The problem is, I don't know which ones I need."
The 90 in 90 is just a suggestion, not a rule. It happens to be an excellant suggestion, but again, the AA police have no jail to put you in. You will develope a trust with your sponsor. She will help you determine what's best.
Regarding you husband, I agree that without your sobriety, your relationship with him will be nothing. I can only tell you my own experience. When I got sober, I was so excited about the fellowship I found, that I spent almost every waking minute talking about or going to AA meetings. What I failed to recognize is that my wife had spent the last 18 years suffering from my alcoholism. I remember her telling me more than once, "I lost you to alcohol for so long and now I've lost you to AA." She was so right. One of the things I had to do was to find a balance between serving my needs and serving hers. Again, these are just my thoughts. I don't want to impose them on anyone else. I also remember someone saying "be kind to yourself, but be kinder to others."
As Dennis Miller used to say, "That's just my opinion, I could be wrong." Follow your heart TJ. That's where God lives. He will show you the best course of action to take.
xxoo,
Ed