I am with you right now. Sending warm hugs (I wish they were real cos I bet we could both use one right now) down the line.
When we drank we didn't have to cope with the pain. Now we have stopped it is hard to bear. I want the pain to stop as well. If I drink I will die but I am afraid I can't live with all this sober reality either. Seems to me today like both roads will lead to the same end.
Sorry for the misery. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Knowing that may help. The people here understand us I think.
xx