**** Ma;
I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now.
If you've stopped AA, what are you doing to help support this massive change you're undergoing? Behavioral changes are difficult to maintain if you don't replace the negative behavior with a positive one.
You're welcome to come on down to the secular connections forum and share with the others. Together, each of us is making our way in a secular fashion. Sharing ideas helps.
Oh, and depression is a very normal response when one quits drinking. But, CONGRATULATIONS on almost two months clean and sober!
Shalom!