Re: movies
Dear Lilya and all movie watchers:
I must confess all I watched was the movie "Unfaithful" with Richard Gere. The way the murder scene as it happens in the movie is so close to the way my assault happened, in almost every way, except for the motive (I had only spoken words that made my assailant angry, was not unfaithful), and that I was hit in the nose instead of the forehead, and I did not die, but the sudden terrible blow to the front of the head with a hard object and the way the blood just began to gus, and the reality of a blow like that to the head, any part of the head, being a potentially mortal wound -- all my stuff was triggered. But I think it is good, since it may wake me up to the fact that I am far from finished with therapy on this thing. I came within literally an inch of being murdered. I keep wanting to just forget it, but I can't. And I don't think I will, and I will need therapy all my life, I think. I don't think you get over something like that. My poor family is tired of hearing it, and I need someone private to talk to. But I don't know who specializes in this field of PTSD. The only doctor I knew who specialized in it was his doctor. When I called him to ask him if he knew anybody else I could go see, knowing I could not see him, he did not return my call. I never knew I had it until this. Maybe today I will call MUSC and see if they have any ideas. I still want to go to my pscychiatrist, but I want to go to a counselor for PTSD, too, and see if I can stop talking about this except in therapy or here and stop burdening my poor family with it.
Well, I must concentrate on my kids and my job just for today. I know I told all here, but my goal is to stop talking so much otherwise, in my routine, daily life. My biggest PTSD symptom is this constant, compulsive talking.
Have a good day in recovery. Things will be ok.
Love,
Nancy