Well, he called again wanting me to come home, said he was feeling really sick and couldn't go to AA today, but swears he'll go to AA tomorrow. I told him I would come over tomorrow after he goes to AA. He said it wasn't fair that I wouldn't come over when he clearly wants to go to AA, but can't because he's sick. I reminded him that he wasn't sick yesterday, or the day before, or the day before, etc. He could have gone then, but chose not to, and that our agreement was simple...AFTER he goes to a meeting, we can discuss our relationship.
Amazing how he can find the strength and time to go to the video store, fast food drive through, and quite possible the liquor store, but he is just way too sick to sit still in a meeting for 1 hour.
I'm really glad I found this forum. Its great just to get it all out in writing. When I read the various posts, including my own, it becomes crystal clear just how INSANE/WEIRD/UNREASONABLE it is to bend over backwards for an alcoholic who won't work at his sobriety.