When ever any one we love dies we feel guilty..it's normal.When there are unresolved issues as with your A it makes it so much harder.You loved him-that was all you could do-most wouldn't even have done that.What you have gone through -finding him dead after a few days is a traumatic experience--you will need some councelling to get over that--not forever--but maybe a few months just to talk thru face/face with someone all your unresloved feelings and trauma....Hang in there!!