I feel the same
I am so sorry for your loss but it is true you think of them all day each minute and it is so horrible to know that you will never talk to them again.. the last time I saw him we did say "I love you" to each other and I know he did but the disease is too strong and I really don't think my A thought he was going to die.. He never associated his bad health with his drinking .. I just can't understand that...