thankyou all xxx.
I've always thought of myself as a functioning alcoholic. Sometimes non-functioning, depending on the day. But I cant function any more. I find it hard to think of it as a disease though. It's a bloody lack of will power and stupid addiction...I think I'm giving myself a cop out if I dont think of it that way. I cant be forgiving to myself because then im saying its ok... that I have no control...so i'm not responsible for my actions. And I have to take responsibility because it is I who puts that damn drink in my mouth and I have to answer for it. Does that make sense?